my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
handjob tips. give me some.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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