thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
