dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
