since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
