Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize