i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
