Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
