Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
