we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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