My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
