It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
