escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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