guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
