Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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