You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
