You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize