Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
