Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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