We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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