so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
