Welp...herpes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
