why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
