Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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