fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
