youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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