Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
