He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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