I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do vagina's smell?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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