Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
