It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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