This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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