As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
