you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize