they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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