I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
