I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize