I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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