and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
