I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
