Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
