I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
