im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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