Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
