I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
