..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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