Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
