i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
