Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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