drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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