you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
