we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
