Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
