I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize