what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
